Blog it’s like a vomit sound but it’s completely different

I have been filming stuff for a YouTube channel I have created, so far it has a stupid animation that I will tag on the end but nothing else I have filmed a bunch of stuff but I hate my face and the sound of my voice so much that I can’t face uploading them also I will probably just make a massive tit of myself as I try to be “funny”. I look like a cross between and angry Lego man and regen on football manager which is the look I go for but to have aced it is a bit jarring. The main problem I have though is I want them to be really good. So far I have managed to barely scrape below par, yeah golf; I don’t know how it works but I am pretty confident in using a metaphor like a pro. You know golf is good because if you get hungry you can just grab a sand wedge. Yes you are right I should go sit on a golf bat.

I am not saying this for sympathy (I need a blog entry and this is what I have been doing so how about you give me a break) it’s really practicalities that are bothering me, and being as practical as simile that would denote I am not practical has it’s draw backs. I just wish I had a good place to film. My spec is simple I want a white wall, no not because I am a racist just think it would look “cleaner” because white is cleaner, it just feels right you know; white is right for me. It might not work for everyone but I think you are wrong; all other colours are inferior and the best is white. White power! Just for what I am trying to achieve the dominance of white on my YouTube account. What would be best thought would be a green screen, but I don’t have George Lucas money. (Are you glad I dropped the veiled racist stuff, it got really weird for a while)

I do however have something filmed I am vaguely happy with and will be posting it on Sunday, I hope to do two a week and start doing a podcast as I now have everything I need. I shall be annoying you with news of that later on. Oh I haven’t actually told you what my “show” is about, well here is the format. Opening monologue followed by sketches and ending with something stupid. I need opening music so if you make music and want to give it me free I would love to use it for evil. The details of my podcast are sketchy but I just want to interview interesting people, like university professors, up and coming bands and comics maybe artists if they do them in Manchester.    

Does Cameron Dream of the Electric Rich

From the country that brought you democracy, philosophy and maths involving triangles (big shout out to my man Pythagoras and his mo’ fuckin’ theorem the boy is huge in the game; R.I.P you know the gal they miss you) comes unsettling news; no it’s not more math involving shapes that you will never use like a Tesseract. Fascists vs. Communist the smash hit of the forties’ is coming back! With the vote split evenly amongst these two anachronistic parties it looks like it’s about to kick off.

 I know remakes/ reboots/ ensemble action flicks are all the rage now but I think this is more of a mistake than Titanic 3D. I mean how do you replace a cast like Stalin, Roosevelt and Churchill? Sure you have Putin and Obama who I think would slide effortlessly into the roles of Communist and pragmatic isolationist respectively, but there is no Churchill. Camtron 4000 doesn’t have a humanity chip that is fully operational, not to mention the voice. Camtron 4000 is a failed model and we should retire him, Blade Runner style. (For the purposes of my trail and forced detention in a terror camp I would like to state that killing an android is not murder in the Philip K. Dick universe. I have no plan to kill anything that can be proven to have lived you may commence beating a confession out of me like an older brother may a younger or if you prefer like a husband does a wife in those life time movies)

I guess what I am saying is why would a country that suffered so badly under Nazi occupation vote a fascist in? My guess, they Googled the word Jew and opened up a whole world of hate. Bloody internet.