It’s Christmas! And as the polar icecaps melt we face peak oil, the global banking crisis and whatever a Little Minx is. I know it has something to do with Simon Cowell whom I believe was born of devil with a goat so it must be generic mindless shit “But” I here you cry with a gun in your mouth “you haven’t even herd them.” I have heard enough of Simon Cowell to know I will hate it; three words Robson & Jerome. So it’s a beautiful distraction being with the family drinking, watching Dr Who and eating while drinking and of course the queens speech (which I believe is a sequel) and celebrate the rape of a twelve year old girl by a deity and most importantly never stopping drinking so you can block out the futile nature of your lonely existence and with this merry thought I present my alternative Christmas top ten.
10: Happy Birthday-Stevie Wonder
Simply chosen because it's big JC's Birthday.
9: Satisfy My Soul-Bob Marley
An anti-commercialisation song if I ever heard one.
Born of rape and managed to get a trade(carpentry) and start a religion, working class boy made good.
7: Imagine-John Lennon
Our second song by big Johnny L, the lyrics i thing chime perfectly with the season.
6: Rape Me Nirvana
Mary was raped, couldn't help myself.
5: Dr Who-Orbital
The true meaning of Christmas; the Dr Who Christmas special.
4: In the name of the Father-Frazer King
This is a song explicitly about the rape of Mary with a bone chilling line, I raped your mother and kissed her cold cheek.
3:Operator-The Manhattan Transfer
It's the Big Dog's birthday you should at least call the guy. plus a really good gospel song.
2: Jesus-Queen
Rocking out. Quality
1: Chocolate Jesus-Tom Waits
I will let Tom introduce the song.
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